Dear Diary
by Erotic Sensei
Summary: Damon at least has decided to write a diary, it will give him the answers he need? this isn't going to awake past feelings? traduction of Querido Diario CONTAINS LEMON
1. Mission BFFo

********Dear Diary****

**Disclaimers.**_TVD is not mine, belongs to the CW and the books to L.__J Smith, I only borrow them to make my usual madness and especially Damon to dream dirty things every night.__What if mine is the idea please do not steal!_

_This story is a little bit risque, by God, is Damon, I can't think dirty things with him xD and besides for his personality_

**CONTAINS SPOILERS OF THE SECOND SEASON OF CHAPTER OR 2X8**

1

* Mission BFFo *

_"Dear ... no, this is just stupid, I will just say" hello ", well the fact__** I am**_ _writing a diary is profoundly stupid, and…corny, I'm __**not**__ Stefan._

_But hey, I just do it because they said that's how I can "channel my anger" and so I can avoid making my blood orgy or kill the brothers of my sisters-in-law (as if they were too many) well, my ex-sister-in-law._

_Seriously I ever believe that in this diary I will find the answers?__Okay, oh wonderful diary!__Could explain me why I can't forget that vengeful bitch named Katherine?_

_Three years ago it all ended, Stefan went to who knows where with Katherine and they have been worrying about livin' _la vida loca _and do not realize that they left me here in charge of all the possessions of the Salvatore family, what a change huh? Don't you think that wonderful day?__Of being the bad irresponsible guy and sadistic sexual murderer (obviously without mention the handsome, sexy and hot I am, ok ...I will shut up now), well now I'm "the head of the family" I guess somehow I always knew what I was going to became._

_Although I'm sure I can not stop moping around complaining everywhere by this bitch, I'm sure the sweet, sweet Elena is about to slash his wrists with a bimbo bread (*) for my super evil brother.__Maybe it's time to go to comfort my little sister-in-law, please diary, do not go thinking wrong, she told me we could be friends or something, though I had feelings for her._

_OMG, it seems that this "powerful diary" just give me the answer, maybe the solution to forget Katherine is ... yes, that Elena makes me became ...am how do they say?__Ah yes!__I became her BFFo._

_Well then ... I think I'm going to execute my plan * insert evil laugh * em ... this diary definitely affects my head._

_Well shall call this mission "MISSION BFFo" So goodbye_

_Damon Salvatore_

_PS: I think that I was very gay saying BFFo and OMG...OMG! I just hope that is not serious._

I closed the leather-bound notebook with my name in elegant calligraphy and sighed, I have to be definitely wrong to write a diary, what boredom can do.

But now it's not time to get bored, I have a plan to execute.

Taking the leather jacket from the rack went into the darkness of the night, feeling the cold in my face, I decided I would pass unnoticed in Elena's house if I was going on foot, perhaps the right thing would be knock on the door instead of slipping by her window and sniff into her underwear drawer. Very cute underwear, but enough with that, I have to be her BFFo.

It was long time since I didn't felt the sensation of being watched by every girl that walked next to me while I was walking down the street or anywhere, oh…those eyes full of lust and things like that, but someone has to make the sacrifice... .'S so hard to be me.

Arrive at the house of Elena in more time than I planned, I never realized how far was the residence Gilbert of the Salvatore.

I climbed the front steps and stopped at that porch, where the martyrdom continue, where I kissed Katherine with the silly idea that it was Elena, how fool I was, it was obvious that Elena wouldn't answer that kiss, and to end making a mess, on the same day Katherine told me that she only loved Stefan, Elena told me that only would be Stefan, Jeremy told me that ... oh no, that's when I killed him

. I shook my head to took off those bad memories from my head and I get to the door and ring, at about the time that rang _Dong_, my legs felt a strange and a weird sensation in my stomach like if it was empty, as if I was hungry, that was strange

I listen to two sighs from two people; the muffled sound of something I thought was Heavy Metal and the tear of a pen on paper. I think the sighs were Jenna and Alaric, the music was obvious Jeremy and the pen must be Elena, I see that she hadn't take off the vice. vice or not, she haven't open the door so I ring again and now I hear a light steps approaching to the door, I prepare for a warm welcome, I should make the body hard to resist the impetuous embrace, heard the click of the latch and the door opened revealing Elena with a deep dark circles under her eyes. He stared and frowned at me grinning.

Well, it was obvious that she was surprised to see me, but now is time for the warm embrace and blah blah blah, I opened my arms to her and…

SLAM

That damn…girl! She shut the fucking door in my fucking face! Who think she is to close the door to Damon Salvatore? I was about to pull the door and rip her throat of that...girl, but then my plan would be ruined and I would have to move by the social crude, so with a long breath and tighten my fists and call her with a supplicating voice and slightly contained.

-Elena please! I come in peace.

The door opened slowly and Elena left a deep breath, looked at me and folded his arms.

What's wrong, Damon? "She asked.

"I can not come and say hello?" I asked, approaching to her, she stood back by instinct.

"Then say it and go," she said coldly, "my relationship with vampires is done since my boyfriend _bloodaholic _has gone with my double wicked and cruel that almost kill me and it has been three years since that, "snorted and said," knowing you, Damon, this can not be good.

"Elena" I chuckled "that was when St... "His eyes went wet "my brother ... was the head of the family, the responsible and all that shit, if I want to remain the same ... the little thing of Salvatore family will collapse.

Elena looked at me blankly for a long time and then giggled in disbelief and sat on the porch steps.

"Why so long, Damon, why wait so long to come to me?"Seriously wonder.

"To recall the happy moments" I said with a smile and sat down beside her, obviously I can't tell her that I took her as an escape route to forget a vengeful bitch that fucked pretty well.

"No, seriously, Damon" she said and lightly grazed my hands.

I took a long sigh and look directly into her eyes, as if planned to compel her.

"Just thought you'd be spending more -or worst- of what I was, he was the love of your life and I also thought it was Katherine. I didn't think it was human forsake you, Elena, I try -or think- I'm the Damon that was your friend" tsk CHESSY THINGS, well, Elena is already accustomed to that I suddenly get my "human" side bone, cheesy, like that time when I declare my love and compel her to forget everything, duh on my part .

"I never thought that you also could affect you ... after all, you too were in love "she put her head on my shoulder and I felt something strange again. Perhaps that should have been because first wanted to kill me or something and now very affectionate.

"Hakuna Matata" I said looking at the stars "now we are only a couple of crazy singles, trying not to venture into the wayward path of love.

"But I'm not doing that," Elena said, frowning.

"Still," I said with a sly smile, my favorite, I was going to teach how to have fun Elena Gilbert.

_**Thanks for reading this story! I thank very much and hope you have laughed as cool as me and my friends do it when we read it, haha, seriously they all asked me what the hell happened to Damon?**____**And I could only answer "was written by Ero-Sensei" I'm sorry if it has some mistakes on the redaction but you'll se…I'm Mexican and I traduce this with my little knowledge, I hope it is ok! Leave me a nice incentive to keep me writing, yes I refer to a nice review!**_

_**Oh by the way the Pan Bimbo is Mexico TRADEMARK bread is not mine either**_

_**Kisses and bites**_

_**Ero-Sensei**_

_**P. S DAMON ME BELONG TO ME AND ONLY ME 24 HOURS A DAY!**_


	2. Today is se I mean movies night

_**2**_

_*** ~ today is se...I mean movie night~***_

_**Disclaimers.**___**Neither Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert belongs to me, belong to LJ Smith and CW, I just take them to this new and crazy idea**

**WARNING****CONTAINS SPOILERS OF THE SECOND SEASON TO CHAPTER NINE**

**It also contains strong language, SOME OF LIME AND OF COURSE, PURE BEAUTY AND LAUGHTER; I do not take charges on my mind for an unusual yellow color on the carpet.**

_Hello again, my powerful journal. How are you today?__Haha ...ok no._

_Well, apparently the "Mission BFFo" was a success, only now I have a problem, I have to teach Elena how to be her again, hopefully not too difficult, I still remember when we traveled together to Georgia, ah ... that travel ... it was fun to hear her snoring xD_

_But hey, this is strange to think that Elena before get close to me and now we're going out at night.__Well even is to the movies but, you know, its dark enough ... and ... oh, I said that I was only going to be friends with her.__Ash, you take out my perverted side, journal, but perversion is good._

_I wonder if I'll be able to support the film she chose, God! Why do I let her?__The "Damon's Humor" does not allow corny things, my lifestyle does not allow to go to the movies or dinner (okay, food- food because I can dine some girls blood ... well that was before)_

_Oh BTW, I will surprise Elena with my new outfit, try to be like any other child, I mean, young man of his age.__So maybe I'm going to start to get dressed (crows, again I was gay) Well, see ya the next time_

_Damon Salvatore_

I stretched like a cat in the chair and stare at the ceiling, swaying in the hind legs of the chair, thinking about the immortality of the crab, I will change my clothes later with my vampire speed, it really was a long time since my seductive and gallant side has been sleep and of course my funny side was too…wait a sec, what does it do with each other? Wa…that vampire crab is bad for my health

**TOC TOC TOC TOC TOC**

- PER TUTTI I SANTI CORVI! (*)

**CRACK**

**PATATUM**

-Ouch.

OK, I'm going to describe what happened: the person who fucking POUNDED the door, made me almost shit on my pants over the shock. And worse, the poor chair at that leap and their legs over than a century and a half, gave up, causing my beautiful ass hit the ground and gave me a blow that could have broken my skull and turn my brain into a liquid mass of ideas if I wasn't a vampire.

"Damon?" Elena's voice echoed through the hall. So was it her ¬ ¬ *

"Upstairs" I growled, giving me a strange somersault to get up, I heard his footsteps all the way up, and then hesitate on the door

- What are you doing?" she wonder seeing the disaster of the chair, the journal that had flown off and me, almost writhing in pain with my head between my hands, damn animal diet.

"Your _not so audible_ banging at the door made my heart left my chest and I think if I fractured the skull," I said, hiding my watery eyes.

"Wow, Damon with pain, interesting" taunted her and approached me with worried eyes "it hurts a lot?

"No ..." I lied blinking to remove those flashing lights" I change and go "I said walking to my wardrobe and seeing sideways how she watched my King size bed "you want to be in there?"I asked, raising an eyebrow. His cheeks filled with a faint blush. Point in my favor "I just said you could lay back."

Elena glared at me and I giggled, getting lost in my closet, which reminded me the one that appeared in the gay vampire novel, filled with lots of designer clothes and even kept some of my old clothes. Quickly chose a black shirt with an abstract design in red and some fitted trousers that struggle to put it on and walked jumping like crazy so I could get into my butt and battle as much for the fly close. How the hell people could use that?

"Could you tell me what kind of movie you choose?"Asked, taking my leather jacket and leaning out of the bathroom mirror, ruffling my hair.

"Believe me, you would like" she answered with a smile "and don't worry, there will be no romance to make us mourn"

I snorted, ha-ha-ha _mourn?_ Me? Well, the coup was one thing ... and maybe when I realized that Katherine was not in the grave and perhaps when I had to erase the memory of Elena, but those are only exceptions.

"Okay, let's go" I said, coming back, her jaw slammed into the ground, well, not quite, but was stunned and looked in at my crotch and blushed again, crows, it have to look quite big "I'll drive" I smiled and pulled her by the waist.

X

X

X

The smell of popcorn became stronger in my nose as we walked the parking lot in complete silence; she still was somewhat flushed and played with his fingers nervously. God, I thought that would be like our trip to Georgia.

I started humming a classic rock song that played on the radio, well, I had to break the silence in some way right?

"Woo ... we're half way there ... woo, livin 'on a prayer, take my hand laralalala woo!"Elena giggled and I accidentally detuning "woo ... we're half way There WOO…

-Go to _American Idol_, Damon" she said with a laugh and I found a place to park.

"Well, Elena, I am willing to know the Elena that Stefan knew. And don't you start being emo like your brother!

Elena military beckoned me and told her to leave the car and started to walk towards the cinema. Meanwhile, in my mind, they kept moving the images from the last time I had gone to the movies: a girl who I didn't know gave me the best blowjob of my 168 years of life. Would I expect that to recur? Ney, of course not.

"Then what movie is?"I asked peering at the card.

"_Vampires Suck_" she said, taking the tickets.

"Funny," I smiled and approached the sweet store; she almost took advantage of my credit card with savings of more than a century and she buy a lot of sweets than I thought she would be able to eat.

We comment on our ability to win _American Idol_ and _So You Think You Can Dance_ as we found the room and a place, we conclude that I simply could compel judges to Elena won and I could seduce with my orgasm-thing eyes that no mortal could resist, and Elena could because she was abducted by an underwater terrestrial alien named Stefan that had become her into a big potato with human form and was therefore immune.

I think that I will not buy her candy, raisins with chocolate, chocolates_, Skittles_ and things that may contain sugar.

The film kept most of the time with fits of laughter with the madness that made the stupid gay vampire thing, but also what gave me laugh was the laugh of Elena as it seemed that it had asthma or hiccups, well, something strange. Tsk, what's with that? A laugh that made you laugh, what a laugh!

"The pig is going to be out!" Suddenly cried when I saw the mighty Chihuahua that had been transformed the werewolf. Elena laughed louder and some other people as the sound like a pig escaped from my nose soon after, yep, the pig met its threat.

Finally the movie ended and Elena and I were more animated than we were before and I am sure that many people thought we were really crazy.

"Hungry?" I asked pointing at a Wendy's that was across the street.

"With so many sweets in me…" she said, pointing to her belly "of course I am hungry!" She clung to my arm as if we were couple or something.

"Okay, just don't abuse of my fortune, sweetie" I said, feeling like something is disquieted within me OH MY GOD, GET A GRIP DAMON SALVATORE.

It happen the usual as I entered in the local, girls staring at me, racing hearts, sighs almost imperceptible and failing breaths, of course now I add a sort of buzz of angry bees.

"No pickles, right?"I asked as I approached the counter where the girl attending blushed completely.

Taking advantage of the situation I did the thing with my eyes and my eyebrows and that smirk that made her stutter and her hands trembled all the time when I was there.

"How can you stand so many looks?" asked Elena when we served the drinks.

"Hey, no coke for you" I said, removing the glass and taking the liquid that she already had on. "But realize that your looks are hateful 'coz you're with me, the looks of lust are easier to control and support. Such as the counter girl, I'm sure I'll hear her moans in about ten minutes and if I had been alone when she finished I would approach to her and fucked her until I get tired and then bite her and feed.

"Damon ...you just ... "She covered her eyes in exasperation "you just break with that great atmosphere we had created.

"You're right, my bad" I accept giving a long sip of my drink.

We began to eat while she questioned me about how I lived most of my immortal life at times as crazy as the 60's or 80's and made fun of me imagine me dancing disc with a mega afro and flares that swayed to the beat of the movements of my hips.

We pass of my life in ancient times to the most stupid things we had done. From dancing naked in the rain with a prostitute pantyhose and a flamingo had and collided with a public telephone to flee the hall monitors to bring the hair green and in doing it catch more attention.

I swear by my eternal life that I never laughed so much, and talked so much, it seemed that nothing of all this mess of vampires trying to kill her, her boyfriend who abandoned her with a double and thing like that. Now we were only two friends that were laughing about life and nonsense, without concerning for the feelings that existed between the two, only _hiccups laughter_ and, like she said, my _old man gay with emphysema_ laugh.

"No, seriously! I'll pee if I'm still laughing like that, besides my brain cells will die if I keep saying stupid things like terrestrial underwater aliens.

"That thing will remain forever" I said, lying down on the back of the chair with a slight pressure on the stomach of the effort that had been "well, let's go, I'll take you home, Jenna probably want to get a stake by my ...

"Okay, I understand" she interrupted me.

The way home was more relaxed, talking about irrelevant things, the music was a relaxed and slowly Elena's eyes were closed, leaving us well in complete silence but of course might have to charge it, but watch her sleep ... see her sleep make me feel ... somehow ... human.

I shook my head to ward off that feeling and that thought of me, while I parked in front of the Gilbert residence.

"Elena," I call her extending the syllables in a childish way "we're home"

Elena opened her eyes and yawning while she stretched.

"Watch out with the battered and the thump "I said, touching the place of the collision, she laughed slightly, I get down of the car with my vampire speed and opened the door to her.

"You know ... you're not the worst company in the world, Damon" She said, climbing the porch steps and I lean on a pillar with a somewhat nostalgic look and staring at a crack in the floor timbers "see ya later, Damon" she approached me and placed a kiss on my cheek, but not a fast one, was a slow pitch which she aspire my scent and put a hand on my shoulder.

An electric shock went through me to the touch her lips, feeling very hot and very cold when she remove them.

Without putting my ideas in order I pull her hand when she walked away and pulled her to me, bringing my lips to hers in an aggressive kiss.

I pressed her against mine as much as I could, thinking that if I released her I will lose her forever, she will left me, repeating the same story, I her wanted for me, wanted to be the most selfish being on the planet, God ... I only love her, love her with inhuman madness, I loved, I just love her...

His lips moved slowly against mine, but they were answering, a bigger electric shock came over me and put one of my hands on his cheek and the other stops on his back and ran my tongue through his lower lip, she let me in, making more fiery that kiss, it seemed as if we agreed since our tongues moved in a synchronized way, like a perfect dance. His breathing was stirred and his hands were on my hair, griping it tight and moving his hips against my pelvis. I lowered the hand I had in his waist to his ass, like she doesn't said anything I take it firmly with both hands and she let out a slight groan, without separating from that kiss so intense.

"Elena ..." I muttered against his lips, going down to her jaw, leaving a wet road "oh ... Elena ...

She kept moaning close to my ear and the she take and guided my hands inside her blouse, grazing his plane belly on the way to touch the lace of her bra.

"Wait ... just wait ..." I muttered, stopping the petting and kisses, I stared into her eyes "I don't think this is right" I swallowed saliva and let her go, she fell apart a little wiping the corners of her mouth.

"True ... just friends ..." she gasped, her cheeks still increases color. Ja, I'm sure Stefan never has done anything like that

"I ... am ... sorry," I said with guilt and confusion clearly marked on my face "see you later, Elena"

And as a coward quickly left that place, not even turn around to face my own reality. Just run away from there.

_**Ok, it is not what I wanted but still stay cool!**____**This mix everything, laughter, drama, lemon (well, lime) and of course the most beautiful and sexy man on this planet.**_

_**By the way I also mixed my friends and the stupid things we say every single day, especially Arlise-Mayaya with the pig-sound (BTW, that hiccups-asthma laughter its mine D: )**_

_**The trademarks here mentioned aren't mine…I don't want them to erase my story xD**_

_**By the way…I'm sorry if the lime doesn't is too much clear…writing sex scenes in English are more difficult than I thought!**_

_**Leave a nice review and sorry for the mistakes I could do translating this thing…I'm not quite good at but, if there is something please let me know and I'll correct it =D**_

_**Kisses and bites wherever you want…**_

_**Ero-Sensei**_

_**(*) I don't know the exactly way to translate it but it was like "for all the holy crows"**_

_**P.S Ian Somerhalder belongs to me every night!**_


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